I used to have a visceral hatred of selling myself. It made me feel like I was betraying my values and goals, and I hated anyone who asked me to convince them of my worth.
What right did they have to this priceless piece of me? Fuck that. There’s not enough money to get me to go all-in on this. So, I went a quarter- or half-in because I needed the money.
Each coin, each bill felt slimy.
There was always this anger about me. Simmering under.
I didn’t understand what marketing meant. I didn’t understand how much you lose by never learning to become visible.
All I ever heard was “sell yourself.”
Without the explanation of how it would benefit the people I’m selling to.
It’s been decades, and I finally understand one thing:
Not to sell is to steal
To lie. To cheat.
If I spend years honing a skill and keep it to myself, I’ve stolen that knowledge from someone else. I’ve turned my back on their problem with a dismissive flick of my wrist. I’ve refused to help them by staying silent and forcing them to believe I don’t exist.
If I spend years creating a product and never publish it, I’m lying about not having a solution. I’m letting others suffer when I could offer my product — in all its imperfection — to soothe their fears. Their frustrations.
If I give everything away for free, I’m cheating myself out of the ability to give more. And cheating other people of the freedom to give to me. Instead of creating solutions, I’m stuck in survival. Eyes glued to the ground don’t make monuments in the sky.
When I have enough of the ordinary, I have more time to make more of the extraordinary.
Selling myself doesn’t mean trading a piece of me away; it means explaining to someone how I’m the best person to help them.
How my unique skill, product, and worth can make their life easier.
And how grateful I am to be given a chance to be a part of their success.
Note: Featured image by Nick Fewings on Unsplash.
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